


What Would You Do

by stonedsoldier



Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon Compliant, Gen, Steve and Bucky are basically soulmates, Time Travel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-27
Updated: 2017-12-31
Packaged: 2018-03-03 19:04:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 16,141
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2870762
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stonedsoldier/pseuds/stonedsoldier
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"If you had the chance to do it again, do you honestly believe you could do it differently?"<br/>"I would try."<br/>"Do you believe you could change anything? Do you believe you could save him?"<br/>"I have to."</p><p>----</p><p>Steve finds himself back in 1944 to relive the day that his best friend, Bucky, fell. Is he there to re-experience the nightmare? Or can he change the fate of his friend?</p><p>EDIT: reformatting the chapters for an easier read</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Part I

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first Marvel fic and I have no idea what I am doing. 
> 
> It will be multi-chapter and terrible I hope you enjoy it.
> 
> Thanks.

**Part I**

 

" _If you had the chance to do it again, do you honestly believe you could do it differently?"_  
_"I would try."_  
_"Do you believe you could change anything? Do you believe you could save him?"_  
_"I have to."_

\- - - - - - -

When Steve woke, it was on the hard ground with his eyes to the stars. A cold breeze brushed his left cheek as he slowly turned his head to the side.  
There next to him, lying in a soft slumber, was his friend. His best friend. _Alive_.

"Bucky." He breathed. Bucky was lying on his stomach, his cheek squished against the ground and breathing soft puffs of air into the cold night. Steve watched the steady rise and fall of his back and didn't blink, afraid if he did that his friend would disappear. When his eyes stung with tears, he risked a moment to close his eyes, and opened them again. He breathed a sigh of relief. Bucky was still there. Still breathing. Still next to him. He sat up and looked around. There was a dying campfire before him, and five other rucksacks scattered in a circle _. The Howling Commandos_. Steve furrowed his brow in confusion. The cold air biting his cheeks felt real, but this had to be a dream. This couldn't be real. He turned to look at Bucky again, still sleeping peacefully.

Steve's heart ached. It had been so long since he had seen his friends gentle face, his lips curling upwards slightly in dreams. No. The last time Steve had seen his friends face, it had been hardened. His eyes were deadly and his heart had been filled with poison. He had tried to reach through to him, tried to find his friend beneath the weapon. The last thing he remembered was staring up at Bucky through swollen eyes. _I'm with you till the end of the line_. Bucky had looked down at him, his fist halted in the air above him. His face was frozen with a look that Steve couldn't place. Only that it was one of pain and hurt. And then he felt as though he was falling. A pain struck his head as his eyes cleared from the memory. Bucky still lay sleeping.

Steve slowly stood, feeling stiff from the ground. He looked down at himself, he was wearing his old uniform. It was dirty and dull, but it was just as he remembered. He patted himself down, confused that he could feel the sensation. It had to be a dream...

"What are you doing?" a soft voice mumbled beside him. Steve jumped, turning to look at Bucky who was blinking up at him from the ground. Steve couldn't find his voice. He knew he had one, he had used it earlier. How did he access that again? His mouth opened and closed in confusion, his voice refusing to co-operate. Bucky just stared at him oddly. Steve coughed awkwardly.

"I-uhm- I was just-" he stuttered. He realised he was probably staring at Bucky strangely, judging by Bucky's face, but he didn't care. He couldn't bring himself to look away. Even as his friend stood and swaggered easily toward him; his eyes never left Buckys.

"Everything alright?" Bucky asked. Steve finally brought himself to look away, noticing the other five had slowly begun to wake. Dogan was poking the fire in an attempt to rekindle it. Steve nodded his head uneasily.

"Good, got a big day ahead of us." Bucky smiled.

"What?" Steve turned back to Bucky, taken back for a moment by his smile. That beautiful, familiar smile. It never quiet reached his eyes in these days. Not since he had been taken by Zola, though Steve suspected his smile had changed long before then. He had missed it none the less.

"The day we finally capture Zola." He grabbed Steve by the shoulder, shaking him lightly. "We're close, Stevie, I can feel it. First, Zola. Next? Red Skull." His eyes shone wickedly at the thought, but Steve felt as though a great wave of force had slammed into him, knocking the air from his lungs.

Bucky had already walked way, joining the others, and Steve watched him go. _It couldn't be._ Steve grew frustrated, not knowing what was going on. The last thing he remembered was falling. Had he somehow fallen into the past? The last time he had fallen from the sky, he had woken 70 years in the future. Maybe this time, he had fallen backwards. Fallen back towards Bucky. _To save him,_ he thought. _I have to save him. I can't lose him again. I won't lose him again._


	2. Part II

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey look another chapter. And it's longer. Hehe. 
> 
> Please ignore my terrible grammar when it comes to possessives. And enjoy x

**Part II**

\- - - - - - -

Every step Steve took up the white and rocky mountain was reluctant. His movements were awkward and forced ever since they had left the camp. If this was a dream, he had a cruel mind. Steve knew this day better than any other. He had relived it every day since his awakening.

In his dreams, Bucky had always been shrouded in a black shadow that would not lift. His bright face would be distorted whenever Steve looked at him. Although it seemed odd and out of place, Steve could never really register that he was dreaming. It was always a reality. It was always real when Bucky turned to him at the top of the mountain, oozing darkness and disgust. He asked him a question. A question that haunted every part of Steve. _'Why didn't you look for me?'_   
Steve would struggle to reply as he found himself on the train. A figure would be standing in front of him, and he knew it to be Bucky even before his vision cleared. He was still veiled by a dark cloud, his right hand reaching out for Steve. Steve would raise his arm, his fingers outstretched, but he could never reach. He was so close, he could feel the coldness of Bucky's fingers radiating over his own, but he could never reach.

Bucky began to scream in fear, his voice raw and echoing throughout the empty carriage. Steve could only watch in horror as pieces of his friend began to tear away. Bucky's scream turned to one of agonizing pain as his left arm broke away piece by piece, floating upwards and into the air around them. The air was black, tainted by a red wisp of smoke. There was the smell and the taste of blood. Steve continued to reach out for Bucky, tears streaming down his face as his friend collapsed to the ground, broken. Slowly, Bucky's face began to dissipate as he looked up at Steve, exhausted. ' _Why did you leave me, Stevie? Why didn't you look for me?'_ He was beginning to fade away, turning into dust before Steve's eyes. But he still couldn't reach him. In his dreams, he could never reach him. Steve would wake screaming Bucky's name, drenched in sweat and trembling.

\- - - - - - -

"Steve?" Bucky was shouting. He had one hand grasping Steve firmly by the shoulder as he shook him. "You still with us?" Steve looked up, pale and shaking in the cold wind.   
"What?" he asked dumbly, a little breathless. He hadn't noticed that he had stopped walking a long time ago, lost in the memory of a nightmare. Bucky looked at him concerned, the other howling commandos peering over at him.  
"Are you okay? You seem a little- out of it."

_No_. Steve wasn't okay. He had fallen back into the past without any idea as to how or why, only to find it was the day that he would lose his best friend. The day that he would have to watch his friend fall out of his life, and into a new one. A life as The Winter Soldier. Steve felt sick at the thought. Here before him, was a beautiful, proud Bucky. A Bucky who had followed Steve into battle because Steve had asked him to. It was _his_ Bucky. His Bucky, who had mopped up his face after he got into it with one too many kids. Who had swaddled him in blankets when the cold winter nights had set in, and Steve's lungs began to fill with fluid. Bucky had sat beside him in the long nights, listening to the rattle of his chest just to make sure Steve was breathing. Bucky had always been there for Steve, and Steve had thought Bucky would continue to be there for the rest of his life.

"Steve?" Bucky pressed again, serious concern in his eyes.   
"It's nothing. It's just-" Steve looked awkwardly around him, the other commandos still staring at him and listening to every word. But Steve had to say it. If this was real, he needed Bucky to know. He looked back at Bucky who had his brows raised in interest. "You're my friend, and I need you to know that. I'll always come back for you, Buck. I promise." _If I can't save you, I'll make damn sure I find you._ He pulled Bucky into an embrace with all his might, not wanting to ever let go. Bucky didn't respond at first, too confused to realise what was happening. But he soon wrapped his arms around Steve who had buried his face into Bucky's neck. Steve was holding onto him for dear life, afraid if he released him, that he might wake up. That Bucky would still be gone, and this was just another cruel nightmare. But the smell of sweat and filth from Bucky's clothes was too real. The form of his body against Steve was too solid; Bucky's skin too coarse against his cheek. He breathed him in, holding on tighter. An awkward cough from Morita behind them had Bucky pulling away, but Steve's hands lingered around his waist, unable to let go. Bucky smiled at him, a soft and reassuring smile as he moved Steve's hands away. Steve smiled back, and thought for a moment that perhaps it would be okay. Perhaps, just this once, everything would be okay.

"We'd better get a move on if we want to catch that train." Jones said. And with those words, Steve felt sick again. They began to move up the mountain, Steve watching Bucky climb in front of him. They finally reached the ledge that they would use and began to set up their tactical equipment. Steve felt useless- unable to get his limbs to co-operate properly. He gave up helping and stared out at the mountains, looking down to the train tracks. In a few short moments, Bucky would be gone again.

"Remember that time I made you ride the cyclone at Coney Island?" Bucky asked, coming up beside him.   
"Yeah, and I threw up." Steve recited.   
"This isn't payback is it?"   
"Now why would I do that." It didn't come out as light as Steve had wanted, too busy staring down the length of the mountain, but it still made Bucky laugh.  
"We were right, Doctor Zola's on the train." Jones announced. He continued talking as Steve put his helmet on, glancing over at Bucky.  
"Stay behind me, okay?" he instructed. Bucky gave him a funny look.  
"The little guy who's too stupid to run away from a fight is telling _me_ to stay behind _him_?" he scoffed.   
"I mean it Bucky. If we get split up, I'll be back for you. But you've got to try and stay behind me." He knew he probably sounded ridiculous and Bucky would ignore him, but he had to try and warn him. He couldn't do nothing.

"Let's get going because they're moving like the devil." Falsworth called out. Steve attached his rig to the zip line, bracing himself.  
"You only got about a 10 second window. You miss that window, we're bugs on a windshield."   
"Better get moving bugs." Jones quipped. Steve adjusted his hands on the bar, still as nervous as the first time he had done it.   
"Maintenant!" Dernier called as the train passed into position. Steve threw himself forward off the ledge, gliding through the air. He took a deep breath as he landed, swaying forward slightly. He wasn't going to lose Bucky again. He _couldn't_ lose Bucky again.


	3. Part III

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What's this? Another chapter? Yes, yes it is.
> 
> Once again, please ignore my terrible grammar for english is my first language but that doesn't mean I know what I'm doing.
> 
> Thanks. Enjoy xx

**Part III**

\- - - - - - -

Despite Steve's efforts, he found himself once again separated from Bucky. Steve knocked his opponent unconscious before heading to the back of the carriage where Bucky was being cornered. Steve knew his foe was not completely knocked out, and he would have to act faster this time. He broke the lock to the cart, tossing Bucky a new gun and ramming the shelves. A single shot sounded behind him as Bucky fired his gun.

"I had him on the ro-" Bucky began to say, but Steve swiftly knocked him to the ground. He turned in time to see his own opponent appear through a veil of smoke. Steve raced towards him, a new adrenaline pumping through his veins. This was it. The hydra weapon began to charge, aiming towards them. This was his chance to save Bucky. If he could just stop the enemy from advancing . If he could just reach him in time. He threw his shield and it bounced off the enemies head, knocking him down again. The weapon misfired into the roof causing debris to fall from above them. Steve knelt down beside the enemy and began to tear away at the weapons on his arms, ripping them from his body and destroying them. Wires sparked as he broke through the armour, the destructive suit powering down. Bucky came up beside him, limping slightly from being knocked over.

"A little warning next time Steve?" he groaned. Steve jumped up from the floor, enveloping Bucky in his arms and began to weep with joy. He had saved Bucky. Bucky was alive and he was okay and he was squeezing Steve back just as hard. He knew he should be embarrassed that he was crying and that Bucky wouldn't understand, but he couldn't help it. Since the day he had lost Bucky he had dreamt of this. This moment, where Bucky was safe.

 _"If you had the chance to do it again, do you honestly believe you could do it differently?"_  
 _"I would try_." The words suddenly echoed through his mind, like a distant memory. A pain struck him in his forehead.  
 _"Do you believe you could change anything? Do you believe you could save him?"_  
 _"I have to."_ Steve curled into himself from the pain, and could faintly hear Bucky calling his name. It felt as though his head was being crushed between a vice. Two worlds colliding together in his mind, the world in which he came from, and the new world he had created. A world where Bucky had survived. His vision began to swim and Bucky's voice was too far for him to hear it. And then, the world went dark.

\- - - - - - -

 When Steve awoke, it was in a white light. It was bright and empty and he stood alone. He looked about him, unsettled by a deep silence. He began to walk, but he couldn't find a direction. His footsteps seemed to echo around him, and he picked up his pace to a run. He ran back and forth and left and right, but there was nothing. He stopped to catch his breath, his heart pounding.

 _"What would the world be if he had lived. Are you prepared to face the consequences?"_ A far away voice suddenly spoke. Steve looked around him but there was nobody there.  
 _"Are you prepared for the world to change? To undo that which the your friend has done."_ The disembodied voice continued to speak, reverberating in the empty space. Steve began to run again. He ran until he felt as though his legs could carry him no further, and then he kept running.  
 _"Are you willing to sacrifice everything you know- everything you are- for the life of one man."_  
 _"He is not just a man."_ A new voice replied and Steve recognized it to be his own.  
 _"Oh?"_ The strange voice laughed. _"Then what is he?"_ There was silence again, except for the sound of Steve's feet hitting the white ground beneath him. _"You place too much value on your friend."_  
 _"And you place too little!"_ Steve's voice snapped back. There was a small laugh, and silence again. Steve stopped running, collapsing to the ground. His legs felt numb, and he felt as though he couldn't breathe.

 _"If you had the chance to do it again, do you honestly believe you could do it differently?"_ The strange voice asked seriously.  
 _"I would try."_ His own voice answered. Steve fell forwards, the pain returning to his head.  
 _"Do you believe you could change anything? Do you believe you could save him?"_  
 _"I have to."_ Steve's voice replied, almost desperate. The ground shifted beneath Steve, and he felt as though he was floating through space, his lungs turning to ice.

" _Very well. But know this, Steve Rogers-Death will come for your friend this day. He was denied once, I cannot think he would be denied a second time. If you truly care for your friend, you must accept this. If your friend does not fall- if you change his story- he will never be safe. You will be running for the rest of your lives. And if you stay with him, if you fight with him- the world that you know will no longer exist. All that you have done, all that you have fought for, shall be undone. It is not just the fate of your friend that you are changing, but the fate of the world. Are you sure you want to do this?"_

 _"Please._ " The word continued to echo as Steve felt himself falling, before hitting the ground hard.

Steve gasped, his eyes shooting open as he struggled to sit up. Strong hands pushed him back down, and Steve saw Bucky sitting above him, a frown on his face.

"You okay, Stevie?" Bucky asked gently. Steve nodded wearily. He wished Bucky would stop asking him that, because he wasn't okay. But then, he hadn't been okay for a long time.  
"What happened?" he asked, and Bucky allowed him to sit forward.  
"I'm not really sure. One minute you're squeezing the life out of me, and the next you were writhing in pain. I thought you got hit in the head or something, ya know? Like a delayed reaction or something. But we can't find so much as a scratch on you.." Bucky explained, and Steve could hear the slight tremor in his friends voice. "Do you remember anything?"

Steve thought back to the strange dream and the words he had been foretold. The world that you know will no longer exist. Steve looked up at Bucky, at the blue eyes burning through his. Steve shook his head dismissively and stood up.  
"It was nothing, Buck. I'm just glad you're okay." He reached out for his friend, grasping his shoulder firmly, and Bucky reciprocated the gesture smiling.  
"I'm glad you saw that guy coming through the door. That could've ended badly." Bucky joked, but Steve couldn't quiet bring himself to laugh. Bucky had no idea just how badly it would end.

Steve looked about him, only just noticing that they were in their barracks. Bucky noticed, laughing, "Next time you decide to pass out, could you maybe do it closer to the camp? Had to haul your derriere for miles. It was easier before you were all- Captain America." There was a hint of something in Bucky's voice when he said that, something that Steve couldn't quiet place.  
"I'll keep that in mind." Steve smiled.

"Well," Bucky said, beginning to walk away, "You should probably rest a little longer." He stopped short at the door, "Of course, I know you're going to ignore me, so I'll just tell you now. Zola is in the interrogation room underground. The interview hasn't started yet, but I'm sure I'll see you there." Steve nodded and watched as Bucky finally left the room.Steve sat back down on his bed, grasping his head between his hands.

He remembered now. He remembered falling. He remembered entering his home to find a strange man standing by the window, bathed in a white light. Steve had reached for his shield, ready to defend himself. But the man had simply turned and smiled. He had offered Steve a chance to save his friend, and Steve had taken it. He realised he had never even asked who the man was, or why he would help him. Nor had he asked how he would do it. Was Steve now in this new world forever? With his friend, alive and well? He wasn't sure how to feel. He had always thought if he could just go back and save Bucky, then everything would be okay. Yet he still felt out of place; out of time.


	4. Part IV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Helloo...
> 
> So uhm sorry this update came a little late.. but my laptop broke in January and I only just got my new one back this week and had to re-edit a bunch of this chapter because I'm stupid and don't frequently back things up. Hehe.
> 
> I hope you guys are still interested in reading.. :P
> 
> Enjoy xx

**Part IV**

**\- - - - - - -**

Steve hadn’t really thought about it at the time, but this couldn’t be real. Steve had last been on the helicarrier; Bucky above him. Steve had been falling .. falling. And then it had turned dark. The darkness had shifted into his home. To the man. Had he died? Was he being given a second chance? A chance to live again, with his friend by his side? He had too many questions and not enough answers. He punched the bunker railing hard, enough to bend it out of shape slightly. He took a deep breath, standing.

He walked through the familiar corridors, trusting his memory to take him to the interrogation room because he didn’t consciously know where it was. His head was lost in his thoughts as his feet carried him. He was knocked out of them when a rounded a corner, bumping into someone small. He looked down. _It couldn’t be_. Soft, perfect curls; red lips turned up into a smile. _Peggy._

“Captain.” She said, fixing her blouse.  
“Peggy-“ Steve breathed, forgetting himself for a moment. Peggy looked around uncomfortably. “I mean, Agent Carter.” He corrected himself.  
“Where are you going?”she asked.  
“I was just- uhm”He had forgotten. Where was he going again? Peggy looked so beautiful standing in front of him. Her young eyes glistening in the light, her skin practically glowing. It was as though her soul was bursting out of her; she radiated pure beauty.  
“You were just?” she urged. Steve cleared his throat awkwardly.  
“I was just looking for Barnes.” Steve wasn’t sure that’s exactly what he was doing before he bumped into Peggy, but he assumed it’s what he would be doing. He still stood rather agape at Peggy, who began to shift on her feet under the attention.  
“I think I saw him head outside.” She pointed to one of the stairwells at the left. Steve furrowed his brow.  
“Has the interview started yet?” he asked in reference to Zola. Peggy shook her head.  
“Not yet. I was going to go down and watch in a moment.”  
“Mind if I walk with you?” Steve asked. Peggy nodded her head and they began to walk down the corridor together. Steve wanted nothing more than to reach out and take her hand. To feel her soft skin beneath his. The last time he had held her hand, it was shaky and cold. He wondered if that was her aberration: some people just had cold hands. His mothers were always freezing, but they were a blessing when Steve would come down with a fever. He would lean into his mothers touch for hours, positive that the cure was held in her fingertips.

They walked in silence to the viewing room, Steve unsure what to say, and Peggy acknowledging other agents as they breezed past her. It was a comfortable silence however. Everything was always comfortable between them. They shuffled into the viewing room where a few other agents and Captain Philips were currently watching Zola through the glass. Philips turned in acknowledgement to Peggy and Steve, and they in turn did the same. Zola shifted around in his chair, looking around the room uneasily.

“Let’s find out what that Red Skull is up too.” Captain Phillips announced, exiting the viewing room. A minute later he entered the room with Zola who looked up at him.  
“This will go a lot easier if you co-operate.” He began the interview, but Steve didn’t pay too much attention. He already knew what Zola would say. He already knew the Red Skulls plans. He already knew what he had to do. He turned slightly to look at Peggy. She was paying full attention to Zola and Philips. Her forehead was crinkled, her lips pursed as she examined every move Zola made, and listening intently to every word he said. She really was beautiful, Steve thought to himself. It didn’t take long for Zola to reveal everything about Schmidt. About his plans for world domination. Zola wasn’t a soldier. He didn’t want to die, he never really wanted to die. Steve felt angry suddenly. Memories leaking into his mind. Captain Phillips re-entered the room, his face grim. Before he could open his mouth to speak, Steve spoke.  
  
“What do you plan to do with him?” he already knew, but he needed to hear Phillips say it.  
“I’m not sure yet. I’m sure we’ll come up with something later. We have bigger fish to fry.” He said, but Steve was still angry. Angry that S.H.I.E.L.D would offer Zola a deal to work for them. Angry that it would allow Hydra to continue to grow, a creeping disease into the future. He was angry that Zola would be given the freedom to have experimented on his friend. Steve had stripped him of the opportunity now, but the anger still grew. He dismissed himself from the room quickly, practically shoving the other agents out of his way. He needed Bucky. He needed to see his friend. Steve needed to see that he was alive, that he was okay, that he was still here.

He searched frantically, confused why Bucky hadn’t shown up to the interview. _I’m sure I'll see you there._ He had said. But he hadn’t been there. Steve bounded down a corridor, heading for the stairwell Peggy had pointed to earlier. When he reached the top, he all but burst through the side door, the cold air cooling against his heated skin. It was snowing slightly, and there was a throng of people by a fire in the far left. Small lights twinkled and Steve could hear The Andrew Sisters playing over the intercom. Soldiers were dancing and drinking; women laughing and their skirts twirling beneath them.

A few stragglers were laughing somewhere in a dark corner, and Steve stepped forward. Someone near the fire laughed, throwing their head back, revealing Bucky to be stood with them, laughing heartily. Steve began to make his way over when someone blocked his path. It was a young man, a navigator judging by the uniform.  
“I haven’t forgotten your friend.” He said.  
“What?” Steve asked, confused.  
“What?” the navigator echoed, shaking his head. He looked at Steve weirdly, before brushing past him. Steve watched him go. _That was strange_. He continued to walk towards Bucky who had caught sight of Steve and began walking towards him himself.  
Steve was blocked again by one of the watch guards.  
“He isn’t yours to keep.” He said, before continuing to walk forward.  
“You can’t save him.” Another said, looking at Steve with dark eyes. He looked away, walking past Steve without so much as stopping. Steve had stopped walking, he felt sick again. Bucky was finally standing in front of him, clapping him on the back.  
“I thought you were going to the interview.” Steve asked before Bucky could even open his mouth.  
“I was-"  
“Then why weren’t you there?” Steve interrupted. He didn’t know why he was angry with Bucky. He supposed he wasn’t really. The fear and confusion was building inside Steve, and he had turned it into anger. He had turned it against the one person he could never be angry with.  
“I got distracted. I’m sorry. I didn’t think it was a big deal.” Bucky answered.  
“You can’t just go off on your own like that.” Steve snapped. He didn’t know why he was doing this. The fear was growing in him, making him feel ill. An impending sense of doom began to wash over his bones.  
“What’s the matter with you?” Bucky asked, taking a step back. Steve was silent for a moment, not sure what was coming over him. The music in the distance changed to Benny Goodman, the erratic beat throwing Steve’s vision. His head was spinning. Bucky spoke again, his voice dark. “You can’t save me.” Steve looked up at him, noticing his friend had turned slightly pale. “You couldn’t save me then, and you can’t save me now.”  
“What?” Steve gasped. His friend’s eyes seemed black in the dark night, his voice laced with poison.  
“I said, what’s the matter with you?” Bucky asked, a little angry now, but worry still upon his face. Steve shook his head, taking a step back from Bucky. What was happening? Small beads of sweat began to drip down Bucky’s forehead, his skin becoming clammy.  
“Bucky,” Steve whispered, reaching a hand forward to touch Bucky. He gently gripped his forearm, squeezing it gently. “I’m sorry. I almost lost you today, I can’t lose you now.” Steve said truthfully.  
“I don’t belong to you, Steve. I’m not yours to keep.” Bucky said, his voice cold.  
“I didn’t mean that.”  
“Didn’t mean what?” Bucky asked.  
“That you belong to me.” Steve repeated. He furrowed his brow at Bucky.  
“I know you didn’t.” Bucky said softly. Steve moved his hand to squeeze Bucky's own, hesitating when he noticed how cold his skin was.  
“Are you feeling okay?” Steve asked.  
“I think I'm the one who should be asking that, Stevie. Or did you forget who collapsed on who on that train?” Bucky laughed, but Steve didn’t find it funny. He was serious. Something odd was going on here, he just wasn’t sure what.  
  
“I’m sorry I snapped at you.” Steve apologized.  
“It’s okay-”  
“No, it’s not. I don’t know what came over me. I’m just- I'm worried about you.”  
“You should be.”Bucky said.  
“I should?"  
“You’re going to lose me. I don’t know when. But soon. I’ll be gone again.” Bucky's cheeks were beginning to turn a rosy colour, his eyes slightly glassy. He appeared to be trembling and Steve felt as though Bucky was looking straight through him.  
“Why are you saying that?” Steve asked, becoming angry again.  
“Why am I saying what?” Bucky asked, frowning at Steve.  
“Stop playing games. This isn’t funny anymore.” Steve was growing frustrated.  
“I think you need to lie down, Stevie.” Bucky said gently, wrapping an arm around Steve's shoulders. Steve shrugged him off.  
“No. Something weird is going on here.” He looked at the others surrounding them. They were all staring, watching as Steve yelled at Bucky. Steve's eyes flashed back and forth between everyone. At the navigator who had blocked his path, and the watch guard who had spoken in passing. They were looking at him oddly. Steve looked at Bucky again who was shivering noticeably; he looked ill.  
“Are you sure you feel okay?”  
Bucky nodded, reaching for Steve again.  
“I’m fine. Why don’t we join the others? Knowing you, you haven’t even eaten yet.” Bucky suggested, though his chattering teeth implied him to be anything other than fine.

Steve hesitated, the others still staring at him oddly. He nodded his head, and allowed Bucky to steer him over. He still felt that Bucky’s skin was radiating an unusual coldness, his body shaking against him. But he said nothing. Dugan and Falsworth were swinging around with a beautiful woman, Glenn Millers ‘In the Mood’ echoing over the grounds. Bucky smiled as he watched the others dance, and Steve realised Bucky had never got to experience this celebration. Although, neither had Steve. He had opted to visit the Whip and Fiddle, sitting in the old and familiar bar, now crumbled and unrecognizable. He had drank and drank, but still all he could feel was the pain in his heart. He had cried, and then cried some more. His eyes and throat had burned, the grief overwhelming him. But Bucky was here now. Bucky was alive.

Steve looked out at the dancing, shimmying and dipping to the music. They were smiling, laughing, as though all the problems in the world didn’t exist in this moment, in this place. Steve allowed himself to smile, clasping an arm around Bucky's waist. Bucky beamed at the gesture, his arm still wrapped around Steve's shoulders. They stepped forward into the dancing throng. Steve hated dancing, but here in this moment, he could bear it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs referenced:
> 
> Andrew Sisters - Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy  
> Benny Goodman - Sing, Sing, Sing  
> Glenn Miller - In The Mood


	5. Part V

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uhmmm yeah this is way later than I said I would post but I had to change a lot.
> 
> Hope you guys enjoy. There will be more action coming up I think - I haven't written past this chapter oops haha.

**Part V**

**\- - - - - - -**

The celebration didn’t seem to want to end. They danced through the night, Bucky smiling and laughing, dipping beautiful brauds and swinging them across the floor. He stumbled forward a moment, before disappearing behind the crowd. Steve watched from the side, his mind elsewhere. He couldn’t stop thinking of the strange words his comrades had said to him. Bucky had spoken to him, and yet, his words had not seemed to be his own. Perhaps Steve had hit his head, and he had hallucinated the whole encounter. Everything seemed fine now. A roar of laughter from somewhere to the left had Steve smiling, noting Dernier and Jones in an intense arm wrestling match. The small crowd roared again as Jones almost tabled Dernier, their faces both scrunched in pain, concentrating all their strength into one arm. Steve smiled, his eyes searching for Bucky again. He was still dancing and stumbling, occasionally looking over at Steve, gleaming with sweat and joy.

“Your friend is a good dancer.” A voice said beside him. Steve turned to see who it was, recognizing his face but unable to place a name. Steve nodded in agreement, practically beaming with pride.  
“I’m sorry it has to be this way.” The man said, his voice solemn. “But you didn’t run.” He turned towards Steve, looking him in the eyes. “I told you to take him and run. Run as far as you can, and don’t stop. But you didn’t.” Steve furrowed his brow as he processed the words and their meaning.  
“Who are you?”Steve whispered angrily, leaning over the man.  
“No-body. Not really. But you had to know, this would never last. It could never be this easy. You had to know that.” The man began to walk away, but Steve grabbed his arm fiercely.  
“Who are you?!” Steve growled, his voice impatient. The man blinked up at Steve, confused.  
“Take it easy, pal.” He said. Something about his demeanor had changed. From a stoic and serious man, to a drunk and whirly soldier.

A woman suddenly screamed for help, the dancing momentarily coming to a halt. People gasped as they seemed to crowd around something, and Steve felt his stomach drop. He pushed the drunk soldier away, pushing through the crowd of people. Bucky was laying on the ground, white as the stars above them. His lips were turning blue. Steve knelt down beside him, shaking him lightly. The people murmured among themselves, Glenn Miller began to play softly in the background.  
_‘fools rush in where angels fear to tread.’_  
“Bucky?” he called out, his voice tremoring. “Bucky!” he shook him harder this time, but still Bucky didn’t move. Steve put his ear to his chest, and could hear a faint heartbeat.  
_‘and so i come to you, my love, my heart above my head’_

“De retour! Lui donner de l’espace!” Dernier called out behind them, creating a circle of space around them.  
“Bucky.” Steve said softly, cupping Buckys face. His skin was freezing. Steve scooped him up in his arms, the others backing up as he lifted him. He adjusted him in his arms, noticing a man in the back staring at them somberly.  
_‘though i see a danger there, if there’s a chance for me, then i don’t care.’_

Steve began to make his way back inside, Dernier and the others following after him. He lay Bucky down gently on his own bed, slapping his cheek slightly to try and rouse him.  
“Bucky?” he groaned, exasperated, turning to the others. “Get a doctor. Tell them it’s an emergency.” Jones and Dernier nodded, rushing back out into the corridor. He turned back to Bucky, placing a hand against his forehead. He recoiled immediately as though he had been burned. Bucky began to shiver more violently, mumbling incoherently under his breath.  
"Hand me some blankets, he's freezing cold." Steve instructed. Folsworth ripped the sheets from the surrounding bunks, watching with worried eyes as Steve began to swaddle Bucky.  
"He seemed fine a minute ago..." Folsworth whispered, his voice concerned. Suddenly, the doctor came rushing into the room, Jones and Dernier hot on his heels. The Doctor ushered Steve away from Bucky and began to check his vitals. He too recoiled upon touching Bucky's skin, and inspected him for a moment longer.

"What is it? Is he okay? Will he be alright-" Steve began to ask, the doctor hushing him as he continued his ministrations. He eventually paused for a moment before turning to Steve and the others. He seemed perplexed, unsure what to say.

"It appears to be a very severe case of hypothermia. We must warm his core immediately. Quickly, fetch something warm to drink, and more blankets. His heart is slow, we need to act fast." He turned back to Bucky, rubbing up and down his arms in an effort to generate heat. Steve looked down at his friend as he convulsed in a violent shiver. Jones and Folsworth had left the room to search for more blankets and warm food and drink. Steve looked down at Dernier with fear in his eyes, Dernier returning the gesture.  
"Ce qui se passe?" he asked quietly, staring down towards Bucky. Steve didn't answer.

Folsworth returned with the extra blankets and the doctor began to wrap them around Bucky's shoulders, propping him up slightly against the bed frame. He grabbed his bag of instruments off the floor and began to rummage through them. Steve watched from behind, anxious and impatient. The doctor shone a light in Bucky's eyes and sighed heavily. As he began to turn to the others, his eye caught sight of something on Bucky's hand. He inspected it closely, frowning. He turned towards Steve, cursing as he hit his head on the upper bunk. He straightened up, opening and closing his mouth as if unsure what to say.

"I don't understand." he said.  
"Don't understand what?" Steve asked. The doctor looked nonplussed once again.  
"Your friend has a very severe case of hypothermia, something that can only occur from long exposure to exceptionally cold temperatures. Yet, it is not even below zero outside. It is not damp, it is not cold, and he appears to be a healthy young man."  
"We were out in the mountains yesterday." Folsworth mentioned, but the doctor dismissed him.  
"It is possible to have developed overnight, however, it should not be this rigorous. Your friends body temperature is dangerously low. And there is something else that is very strange..." he trailed off.  
"What is it?" Steve pushed, looking over Bucky's pale face. His glassy eyes stared past Steve as he shivered. Steve grimaced.

"You see this-" The doctor gestured to Buckys left hand, picking it up gently. Black tendrils were wrapping up around his palm, his fingers turned black. "Your friend has a very severe case of frostbite, but it only appears to be affecting his left hand. Normally, with hypothermia, one can expect frostbite in the fingers, ears, cheeks et cetera as the body attempts to keep warm itself. Your friends symptoms are strange, the tissue should not be dying this quickly. It should not be spreading further up his arm yet, it is acting very quickly." He paused again, confused. "To be blunt Captain, considering the severity and the swiftness of your friends condition, unless we see improvement within the next hour, I'm afraid he won't make it through the night."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The information on hypothermia is pretty accurate in this story, I researched it a lot, but keep in mind, something supernatural might be at play here... hehehe


	6. Part VI

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uhmmm helloo there :) ...
> 
> I am soo sorry i haven't updated in like.. forever.. but I had so much school shit going on like SO MUCH and then I sorta lost my will to write anything ever.. but I'm here now and I really like this chapter. Bit more action so yay :D
> 
> Hope you guys are still interested in reading. I promise no matter how long it takes me to update I will NOT abandon this fic. I'm just tryna map out where to go from here cuz I'm basically winging it.. 
> 
> Enjoy! :D x

**Part VI**

\- - - - - - -

Time seemed to move achingly slow as Steve watched over his trembling friend. They had wrapped Bucky in a thermal blanket, coaxed him into drinking warm soup, but still he showed little sign of improvement. Steve sat watching for the rise and fall of his friends chest, holding his breath when he went still for too long. But he always took a new breath, for now.

"I don't know what to do." Steve whispered, placing his head in his hands. "What should I do?" He mumbled the words over and over, his voice falling harshly into the silence of the room.

"Steve?" Bucky mumbled. Steve turned to him, placing a hand on his shoulder.

"Yeah Buck, it's me." Steve whispered. He watched as Bucky's eyes fluttered open, glassy and searching, before finding Steve's own, and Bucky smiled weakly at his friend.

"Why are you pulling that face?" Bucky asked, beginning to shift under the blankets that bound him. Steve cracked a smile in return, squeezing his friends shoulder.

"It's hot in here, why is it so hot in here?" Bucky asked, trying to break free from his blankets. He panicked slightly when he found he could not move. "What is this? Where am I?" Steve clasped his friends face in his hands firmly, trying to calm him.

"It's okay, Bucky. You're safe. We're at the bunker." He tried to explain, but Bucky still attempted to shift himself.

"Why can't I move?" he questioned, and Steve sighed.

"You're sick, Bucky. You're sick, and it's all my fault." Bucky frowned at his friends words and Steve looked away. They sat in silence for a moment, the air around them tense.

Before Bucky could question him further, Steve stood abruptly and crossed the room. He looked around him, seeming to be in thought, before turning back to Bucky's feverous gaze. He was frustrated. Why would he be allowed to return to this time and save his friend, only to lose him so soon after. It was cruel. A shiver wracked through the frame of Bucky, and his eyes began to drift closed.

"Bucky?" Steve called, crossing to shake him by the shoulders.

"I'm tired, Steve." Bucky mumbled. His breathing was still raspy and shallow but Steve knew him to be asleep. He sighed in annoyance. He had never felt so helpless.

\- - - - - - -

Before Steve had received the serum, he had never felt truly helpless. If there was a fight to be had, he would have it. If he fell, he would stand back up. The only difference had been Bucky. Bucky had always been there to back him up. When he could no longer stand to defend himself, Bucky would stand for him. But now Bucky had fallen, and it was Steve who had to stand for him. _But how?_

Frustrated, Steve sat down next to his friend, tears welling in his eyes. There had to be something, anything, to save his friends life.

"You seem troubled, Captain." A voice spoke from the doorway. Steve shot his head up to find a soldier standing tall and strong, crossing the threshold of the bunker. His voice echoed sinisterly, and his face appeared to be twisted. "How is your friend?" the soldier asked, peering over at Bucky. Steve stood and blocked the soldiers view, a sudden discomfort knotting in his stomach.

"Who are you?" Steve eyed the soldier warily, noting the familiar distortion in the air that had appeared during the celebration, moments before Bucky collapsed.

"No-one." The soldier replied, his lips curling at the corner. He began to move toward the bed, halting when Steve took a step forward, squaring his shoulders. The soldier laughed, a deep and roaring laughter. "What a pretty picture that stands before me. A friend protecting a friend. And with such ferocity." He laughed again, and Steve glared at him. The soldier turned to close the door behind him, his back facing Steve as he spoke. "You thought you could save him, didn't you? You _actually_ thought that you could cheat his fate. That you could cheat _death._ " He turned to face Steve, black tendrils creeping beneath the surface of his face, his eyes white and unseeing. "You thought you could cheat _me._ ". He growled, a harsh and sudden wind whipping through the room and forcing Steve to stumble back. The soldier was still smiling; though not a soldier, no longer a man, but a creature of darkness. Steve moved forward to stand with his body protecting Bucky, eyeing the monster in front of him.

"You can't have him." Steve moved to grab his shield that lay beside the bed as the creature laughed.

"He was never yours to keep." The smile disappeared, replaced with anger, as he leapt toward Steve. The shield resonated with a bang as the creature hit it, hissing as he fell backwards. He was on his feet again in a second, aiming a hard punch to Steve's gut. Steve grunted as the creature continued to hit him and weakly weaved his way across the room, the creature expertly dodging the protection of Steve's shield. Steve stumbled back, falling down to one knee. The creature hissed, turning to Bucky who now lay exposed on the other side of the room. Steve glanced between them, rushing forward and slamming the creature to the floor. They struggled for a moment, Steve pinning the sickly thing to the floor, before a great gust of wind flung him upwards and across the room.

He slammed harshly into the wall, groaning as he stood. The creature was now next to Bucky, though his concentration was on Steve. Steve put his fists in front him, his shield held firm before him, and defiance set upon his graceful features. With nothing but a smirk, the creature glanced at Steve, its smile growing as Steve dropped his hands slightly. Suddenly, a great force slammed into Steve's chest, stealing the air from his lungs, as he was pinned back against the wall. He crumpled forwards, choking on the ground, unable to draw a breath. Black dots began to dance around his vision as he looked up to see the creature laugh and turn to Bucky. Steve tried to shout, to tell him to stop, and not to touch his friend. But he could not. He lay writhing in pain, the black dots growing and obscuring his vision. His ears began to ring as the pressure built in his head, consuming him in darkness and pain.

He was released all of a sudden from whatever force had crushed his lungs, and he drew in long and painful breaths, his throat burning. He rolled over to sit on his knees, looking up to find Dernier and Jones had burst through and broken the door. Their eyes were wide as they beheld the scene before them. The creature hissed at the disturbance, momentarily distracted. Steve took this moment to grab his shield, and throw it towards the creature. The shield sang through the air, hitting the creature square in the face as he turned too late to catch it. He fell forwards onto Bucky, seeming to be unconscious. Steve looked to Dernier and Jones who stood perplexed.

"Qu'est ce que c'est ce bordel?!" Dernier shouted, standing awkwardly behind Jones. Steve shrugged them off as he and Jones approached the bed carefully. Jones poked at the creature with a finger, and jumped back as it fell backwards off the bed. They watched as the black tendrils that had once crawled beneath its skin disappeared, the air of sickness slowly dissipating.

"Is he dead?" Jones asked, kicking him hesitantly with a foot.

"I don't know, but I don't plan on sticking around and finding out." Steve hurried over towards Bucky and began to awkwardly sit him up. The blankets were heavy and restricting, and Steve would have to remove them if they wanted to go anywhere.

"Pass me some jackets." Steve ordered as he began to unwrap his friend and tried to sit him up. Dernier handed him the jackets and an extra coat, which Steve promptly put onto Bucky. It was awkward, trying to dress a grown unconscious man, but they managed and Steve then wrapped two of the warm blankets over his friends shoulders. Steve hooked an arm under Bucky's legs, and the other around his back before lifting him into his arms. He groaned slightly at the pain in his back from where he had been slammed against the wall. Gritting his teeth, he pushed between the others and began to leave.

"Captain, wait." Jones called after him. Steve paused at the door as Jones stepped forward with the shield. "You'll be needing this." He said. Steve smiled at him in thanks, and Jones hooked the shield onto his back for him.

"Où vas-tu?" Dernier asked. Steve sighed, turning away from them.  
"I'm not sure. But he isn't safe here." He said, looking down at Bucky's pale face brushing against his shoulder. He left the room and the others followed after him. Steve turned to stop them but was silenced by Jones.  
"We are going to help you Captain Rogers, as far as we may." Steve nodded his thanks and they began to walk hesitantly down the empty corridor.

\- - - - - - -

It was dark and the air was heavy. A silence floated between them, but for the sound of light laughter above ground where the celebration was continuing. They came to a fork in the corridor, and Jones peered left and right.  
"There are two soldiers at the far end, East. West corridor is clear." He whispered. He continued to watch the two soldiers who eventually turned their backs to greet a third. Jones signaled them to move down the West hallway. Steve shifted Bucky in his arms lightly, focusing on the soft puffs of air against his neck from Bucky's blue lips that proved he was still alive. His head lolled against Steve's chest as the group made their way down the corridor. They moved quickly, turning left down another passage that led to a stairwell for an emergency exit. They climbed the stairs slowly and quietly before reaching the top. Jones reached for the door handle and Dernier snatched his arm away.  
"Il y a une alarme." He warned, glancing to the small blinking light above them.  
"Can you disable it?" Steve asked. Dernier nodded his head, and moved to follow the wires of the alarm to find the trip box.

Steve looked down at Bucky, frowning. The steady breathing that had tickled against his neck had grown weaker. He placed his ear over Bucky's chest, noting that it still rose and fell, his lungs wheezing. They were running out of time.    
"Il a besoin des médicaments." Dernier commented. Steve sighed as Dernier knelt down to reach the trip box and began to disable the alarm. Steve and Jones exchanged looks as they watched Bucky's weak form. Gently, Steve placed Bucky onto the ground next to Jones, careful to prop his head comfortably against the wall.  
"Watch over him. If you get a chance before I return, you need to take Bucky and get out of this camp. Don't let anyone see you, do you understand?"  
"Where are you going?" Jones asked.  
" _Médicaments_? Dernier is right he needs medicine. I'm going to find some." He turned to leave, the others watching after him. He exited the stairwell, sticking to the wall of the narrow hallway that led to the sick bay.

 Approaching the barrack, Steve noticed that there didn't seem to be a guard on duty. _Strange._ He thought, though he shrugged it off. Sneaking his way through the entrance, quietly in case of a hidden guard, he made his way over to the supply store. There was a heavy duty industrial lock, and Steve pulled out his shield. There were a few patients sleeping behind him, most of them hidden behind curtains. Those who weren't seemed too sedated to pay any notice to Steve. He broke the lock with his shield, internally cursing at the harsh sound it made. He opened the store, grabbing a bag from a nearby table and began to pack as much as he could, making sure to leave some of the antibiotics behind for the other soldiers. He also packed a large flask for water before gently closing the door once more. Swinging the bag onto his shoulder he began to leave, pausing as he entered into the hallway. There before him stood two guards, their eyes white and faces crawling with darkness. But Steve paid them no mind, rather he was focusing on the creeping black tendrils that crawled through a most beautiful and familiar face.  
"Peggy." He breathed, watching as the pupils in her eyes rolled into her head.  
"Guess again." she spoke, her red lips curling into a twisted grin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The french is really simple but here is the translation anyway, just in case :)
> 
> "Qu'est ce que c'est ce bordel?!" - what the fuck (basically)  
> "Où vas-tu?" - where are you going?  
> "Il y a une alarme." - there's an alarm  
> "Il a besoin des médicaments." - he needs medicine


	7. Part VII

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what do you mean i haven't updated this fic in an entire year?? WHAT?!  
> i'm so sorry though i doubt anyone is still reading this but i will finish this fic either way, on principle!
> 
> i promise i won't take an entire year to update next time but i was in my final year at uni so i had to prioritize lmao
> 
> ANYWAY. if anyone is still reading this other than myself i hope you enjoy. sorry for any spelling/grammar mistakes i think i re-read it too much to notice :P

**Part VII**

 

"Peggy." He breathed, watching as the pupils in her eyes rolled into her head.  
"Guess again." she spoke, her red lips curling into a twisted grin. 

\- - - - - - -

"Let her go." Steve ordered, but Peggy- or not Peggy- simply continued to smile.  
"I will, of course. Once you have given me the boy." The black tendrils beneath her skin continued to crawl as she glanced toward the guards behind her. They stepped forward, and Steve immediately guarded himself with his shield.  
"Not gonna happen." Steve replied, his stance firm and ready to fight. He didn't want to her hurt Peggy, he didn't even know if Peggy was aware of what had happened to her. She continued to smile, and though usually it would make Steve's heart flutter, it sent a shiver of disgust down his spine.  

"Very well. Then I shall just have to _take_ him." She lunged forward suddenly, attempting to strike Steve in the jaw. He quickly blocked it with his shield, stumbling backwards at the force. She continued her assault, unimaginable strength coursing through her body as she shoved Steve up against the wall by his neck, breathing a foul stench into his face. Steve turned his face away and gagged, noticing the two guards who had stood beside Peggy were now running down the hallway.   
"My eyes can see far and wide, _boy._ You think you can hide him from me?" She smirked, her grip on Steve's neck tightening as he gasped for air. He hesitated for only a moment before bringing up his legs and kicking Peggy hard in the stomach. She grunted, letting go and Steve slid down to the floor. Catching his breath, he quickly jumped to his feet and grabbed his shield. Peggy snarled, crouching on the ground as a predator ready to pounce. Steve didn't have time for this, he needed to get to the others, to _Bucky_. Steve attempted to circle around her, but she was too smart to open up the hallway for him. Fighting against his every instinct to not harm Peggy, Steve faked to the left before swinging his right leg  directly into Peggy's head, knocking her over. She hissed up at him as Steve booted her in the face. It wasn't enough to knock her fully unconscious as she scrambled across the ground, but Steve wasted no time in passing around her and sprinting to where he had left Bucky. He would have to come back for Peggy, but whatever creature was possessing her was after Bucky.

He ran swiftly down the corridors, slamming into a wall as he swerved around the corner to the fire escape where he had left Bucky. He ran up the stairs, dread filling him, before finding the fire escape open, Bucky and the others nowhere to be seen. Multiple footprints were scattered in the snow on the ground before him, and Steve quickly followed the trail. He made it to the outer rim of the grounds, a high fence blocking his path which he easily maneuvered over. The trail continued into the tree line and Steve ran desperately, the sound of faint grunting reaching his ears as he entered the forest.  He burst into a clearing to find Dernier and Jones in combat with the two soldiers from earlier. Jones was on the ground, bleeding from a nasty gash on his forehead, and Bucky lay motionless behind him propped against a tree. Steve didn't hesitate to join the fight, throwing his shield at the soldier hovering over Jones menacingly, ready to deliver the final blow. The soldier stumbled, falling to the ground before crouching up and hissing. Jones had regained himself, and punched the soldier in the face, effectively knocking him out. He smirked at Steve.  
"Welcome to the party." He joked, and Steve rushed to Bucky's side to quickly check him over while Jones ran to help Dernier on the other side of the clearing. Bucky was still; his lips bluer than before. Steve placed two fingers to Bucky's neck, detecting the weak and irregular beat of his heart. He sighed in relief.

"Merde!" Dernier called out suddenly as the soldier he was currently engaged with gained the upper hand, knocking him backwards. Jones offered a high kick to the man's face, knocking him down. Movement near Steve caught his attention as the soldier from before began to regain consciousness. It growled as it gathered itself on its hands and knees. Jones noticed as well, and momentarily distracted, the soldier he had knocked down suddenly leapt on him, his hands wrapped around Jones' throat. Dernier threw himself bodily at the soldier, knocking him off his friend and Jones gasped for air. Steve clenched his jaw, staring down at Bucky before standing with his shield. 

"Hey!" he shouted, drawing the soldiers attention. "You want him? You'll have to go through _me_." The soldiers hissed at Steve, tilting their heads in a predatory fashion before leaping forward. Steve knocked one down with his shield, kicking out behind him and forcing back the second. Jones and Dernier caught their breath for a moment, Dernier helping Jones to stand. They watched as Steve fought the two deformed soldiers, before rejoining the fight. They threw the soldiers back and away from Steve, Jones throwing a look to Steve over his shoulder.

"You have to get out of here." He shouted, grunting as the soldier landed a punch to his gut. He keeled over for a moment. Steve stepped forward to help, but Jones threw up a hand to stop him, kicking out at his opponent.  
"I won't leave you." Steve argued.  
"They're after you!" Jones groaned as he was suddenly shoved up against a tree. He struggled to speak as the soldiers hand was around his throat, his grip inhuman.

"Go!"  Steve hesitated a moment, watching his comrades in battle. How could he leave them when they were in this situation _because_ of him. Jones had managed to break free, and Steve realised he was right. He had to leave. They were after Bucky. He had been warned, told to run and never stop. He placed his shield on his back, gathering Bucky in his arms and turned to leave. He gave one last look at the fight he was leaving; Dernier and Jones were putting up a hell of a fight, and then he ran. He ran as fast and as far as he could with Bucky weighing him down. His lungs began to burn, his legs and arms aching beneath the strain. Bucky's head bobbed against Steve's chest, and Steve had to resist the urge to stop and check his breathing. He needed to get him away from whatever darkness had ensnared them at the barracks. Steve found he could run no longer, slowing down to a walk, making his way through the cold forest. He refused to stop, for fear that Dernier and Jones had been overpowered, and the soldiers were chasing after him, moments behind. The thought shook him to the core, and he broke into a run once more, unable to shake the fear.

After what must have been hours of trudging through the dark and cold forest, the sun began to rise and Steve collapsed to his knees, gently dropping Bucky in front of him. Utterly exhausted, Steve lay down beside him. He threw an arm over Bucky's chest in an attempt to offer his warmth, though he was cold himself now. The sweat on his body caused him to shiver with the light breeze brushing against his face. He watched Bucky's face, soft in his slumber, his lips cracked and still blue. Steve tried to stay awake, he knew he couldn't afford to rest, but even his super serum body had its limits. His eyes fluttered closed with his head pounding. 

\- - - - - - -

A branch snapping in the distance had Steve opening his eyes and jumping off the ground instantly. Something in the air had changed, and he scanned the trees surrounding him. He looked down, noting Bucky was still right beside him, sleeping softly. A bird flying overhead caught his attention, another branch creaking under the weight of the bird lifting into the air. Steve squinted as the bright sky burned his eyes. It was completely white, no sign of cloud nor sun in sight. Steve furrowed his brow, confused. When he had closed his eyes the sun had been rising, the light layer of snow reflecting a brilliant orange and yellow hue. Now, the forest seemed dull, as if all the colour had been sucked from the trees and the earth. It was silent; the air was still.  

"Is this what you wanted?" Bucky's voice came from beside him suddenly. Steve had not seen him rise, nor remove every layer of clothing from his upper body. His bare torso was pale, softly contracting as he breathed in and out. His pallor emphasised the darkness of his eyes, the black circles making them appear sunken and hollow. His cheekbones were sharp and shadowed. Steve took a step back without meaning to, anxiety welling in his heart. This did not look like Bucky. Not _his_ Bucky.  "How long can you run?" a voice asked from the trees. Steve whirled around, scanning the forest for the source of the voice.

"How long can you run?" it asked again, echoing around him. Bucky began to make a terrible sound, screaming his voice hoarse. He couldn't breathe, gasping and choking, his chest heaving. Steve wanted to reach out, to help his friend, but he found himself paralysed. "How long can you run?" the voice asked again. It continued to whisper and echo throughout the forest, surrounding Steve, crushing him. Bucky continued to scream, black tendrils beginning to creep above his waistband. It crawled and crawled, the smooth surface of his skin raising as the tendrils stretched across his skin. He fell to his knees, his left arm being wrapped tightly by the darkness beneath his skin as he reached out to Steve.  He stopped screaming. The voice stopped echoing. It was silent. Steve still stood frozen, his face screwed up in horror at his friend.  

"Why didn't you look for me?" Bucky whispered, his voice broken. Steve's vision was blurring, and he realised he was crying. He watched as his friend keeled forward, a hard thud as he hit the earth and remained there, motionless.  

"How long can you run?" A voice shouted in his ear, and Steve stumbled back, falling over. He looked up to see a man stood before him, his face cast in shadow. "How long can you run, Steve Rogers?" he asked, voice solemn. Steve tried to speak, to ask his name; who was he and what did he want. But his voice had been rendered silent by the heavy pull in his heart. "Is he worth all this? Is he worth your life? Is he even worth his?" the man asked.Steve couldn't answer, a sharp pain striking him in his frontal lobe.

The earth beneath him began to crumble, and he felt himself being swallowed into the ground. He was sinking into the darkness, the white light above him shrinking, the figure of the man watching as he was consumed by the roots and the dirt. He couldn't breathe.  

\- - - - - - -

 Steve woke with a gasp, unable to catch his breath for a moment. He was sweating and lay on his back. He squinted at the bright sky above him, the sun visible high in the sky. _Noon_ , Steve thought. He'd slept for hours, his body still exhausted. Not from the running though, he suspected. He turned his head to the side to find bright eyes staring back at him.

"Bucky." He breathed. Bucky was sitting up, cross legged and shivering. He stared at Steve, worry evident on his gaunt face. He was still pale, but some of the colour had began to return to his face. And he was awake. Finally, he was awake. Steve sat up impatiently, still breathing heavily. Bucky didn't speak, just remained staring at Steve. "How do you feel?" Steve asked gently. But Bucky ignored his query. Steve called his name again, unnerved by his relentless gaze. Bucky blinked, and looked away.

Slowly, he untucked his left arm from where it was wrapped around himself. The multiple layers of coats and blankets made it hard for him to move, but his left hand was visible. His fingertips were still black, his veins a sharp and icy blue beneath his skin.

"What's happening to me?" he asked, voice trembling slightly.


	8. Part VIII

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> remember when i said i wouldnt take a year to update again and then took a whole year to update...   
> i am the worst author ever LOL im sorry 
> 
> anyway not sure if anyone is still reading but im finally almost done with this fic. i was struggling because i couldnt decide how to end it but i know now and am already working on the final two chapters
> 
> if anyone is reading then pls enjoy! this fic will be finished by 2018 I PROMISE!!

Steve moved towards Bucky, crouching before him. His hand shook as he rested it on Bucky's shoulder, gently grasping his rotting hand in his own cold one. He squeezed his eyes shut against the sight of Bucky's hand, blackened and dying.

"This is all my fault," Steve whispered. There was silence for a moment, Steve's heavy breathing the only sound to be heard; small white puffs swimming before his lips. "I'm so sorry." He said at length, finally drawing himself to look up at Bucky.

Bucky was watching him carefully, Steve's hand still grasping his own, and frowned at Steve's words, though he did not speak. Steve's eyes began to sting, a small tear trickling down his cheek as he apologized over and over again in a soft whisper, resting his head against the hand grasped in his own. It was freezing against his skin, burning him; but he did not care. This was his fault. 

"What's happening to me?" Bucky repeated, but Steve did not dare to look up at him. Bucky gently withdrew his hand from Steve's grasp, but Steve still refused to meet his gaze, his head hanging low in guilt and shame; his tears warm and falling into the snow beneath him, melting it.  
"Steve, please," Bucky said, his voice shaky but firm. It was a long time before Steve found his voice to speak, slowly looking up at Bucky, his eyes red and wet.  
"I can't lose you, Buck," he said at last, his voice breaking. "You're all that I have left." 

"Why would you lose me?" Bucky asked, brow furrowing. Steve seemed to be searching for the right words to say, his mouth opening and closing as he fumbled around his own thoughts.

"I need to tell you something, and I need you to trust me." Steve said resolutely. Bucky could see the seriousness in his friends eyes and nodded slowly.  
"Of course I trust you." Steve smiled brokenly at that, sniffling as he settled in the snow next to Bucky. They were both shivering, but neither of them seemed to pay attention to the wind biting their skin. Steve took a deep breath before speaking.  
"Earlier, on the train..." he began slowly, eyes staring down at the floor. "You- you," he bit down on his lip, unable to say the words that he knew to be true. He looked up to meet Bucky's eyes, his face showing nothing but open listening and slight confusion. "You- you _died_ , Buck." Steve finally said. There was a pregnant pause, the words hanging heavily in the air. Bucky frowned at him.  
"You fell.. off the mountain. And, you died." He said with finality. He said the words with such conviction, he almost believed them himself. Though as far as Bucky was concerned, he _had_ died that day on the mountain. He had not returned as James Buchanan Barnes, but as The Winter Soldier; a lethal weapon forged from decades of torture and brainwashing.  
"What exactly are you saying?" Bucky asked after the silence drew on for too long.  
"When I lost you, I blamed myself." Steve continued, "If only I had been quick enough on the train, if only I hadn't dragged you into all of this, then you would still be alive. I was racked with guilt, and I was angry." He sighed, he knew he could never explain everything to Bucky. There wasn't enough time and it sounded ludicrous even as he thought about it; being propelled into the future, meeting one another again. It was absurd.  
"A man came to me. He was waiting for me in my home. He asked me what I would do if I could do it over again. I told him I would save you. When I woke up again, I was here. You were sleeping beside me, and I realised, I had been given a second chance. Somehow, whoever that man was, he allowed me to come back here- to yesterday. To save you." Silence hung in the air as Bucky processed everything Steve had just said. He shook his head slightly, as though he was trying to shake the thoughts from his head.  
"Steve," he said softly, his voice laced with worry. "That's impossible."   
Steve's heart sank, plummeting through his insides as his friend continued to look at him with scrutinizing eyes. _He didn't believe him._

Bucky groaned slightly, shifting uncomfortably and grasping onto his blackened arm. He hissed in pain, folding into himself as he tried to ride through the sudden sharp pains shooting up his arm.  
"Bucky?" Steve called, voice thick. He leapt toward his friend, holding him up by the shoulders. "Is it your arm again?" he asked, and he felt Bucky nod his head against his chest. 

"Why is this happening?" Bucky ground out, his teeth clamped together as the pain increased to agony. He collapsed forward, violently shivering, and Steve caught him in his arms.  
"Bucky?!" he cursed himself. They had been idle for too long. They were supposed to be on the run. As he looked up around him, he noticed the forest had grown dark around them; but not with the passing of the day. Rather, a shadow seemed to have fallen on them, suffocating and heavy.

The dead leaves scattered around the dirt and snow had curled into themselves, slowly turning black. He shifted to try and stand, bringing Bucky to his feet with him. It would be a lot easier to run if Bucky was conscious for once. He was still shivering and grasping his arm tightly against his chest.    
"We need to go, Buck." Steve said, making to remove Bucky's right arm from where it cradled his left. He wrapped it above his shoulders and began to move forward.

The sky continued to darken around them, pressing down against his body. It felt heavy to walk, even more so with Bucky's weight stumbling beside him. Bucky was still groaning in pain, sweat and tears running down his face despite the cold.  They walked for hours, the sun on their right and slowly sinking behind the treetops. Bucky had been slow to move, but remained awake as they passed through the trees.

They eventually reached a large clearing that backed onto a cliff. Steve helped Bucky sit on the ground to rest for a moment before approaching the cliff side. It was a large drop, rocky and dark. They would need to find another way down.  He walked back to Bucky who was clinging to his arm again.  
"How you holding up?" Steve asked, eyeing his arm. Bucky shrugged, attempting to smile as his breath hitched in pain.   
"Just dandy." He responded bitterly. Steve sat beside him, looking up to the sky that was painted orange and pink as the sun began to set. It was beautiful.

The deep colours of the sky set a faint glow upon them; their skin and snow shining warmly. But it was still deeply cold, and Bucky was still shivering and looking sickly.   
"Why is this happening to me?" he asked quietly. Steve frowned at him. "My arm..." Bucky gestured, "It's- it's like it's dying." He said. Steve perked up at that, the words Bucky had chosen rang too true for Steve's ears. _Dying..._

  
"It can't be..." Steve whispered. Bucky snapped his gaze toward him.  
"Can't be? Can't be what? Steve, what aren't you telling me?" he asked, anger flushing his cheeks. They were both exhausted, and there was too much to say and not enough time to say any of it.   
Steve sighed in frustration. He leaned back onto his hands, watching as the clouds slowly drifted across the landscape. He knew he needed to tell Bucky the truth; the _whole_ truth.

As Steve opened his mouth to speak again, a nest of black birds suddenly took flight from the trees to their left, cawing madly and flying in hectic circles. They made their way towards Bucky and Steve, their cries echoing madly down the ravine beside them. Looking up as the birds made their way overhead, Steve jumped back as a bird suddenly landed dead in front of them; blood pooling against the dirt and snow. Steve leapt to his feet, Bucky slowly rising to stand beside him, as the birds continued to screech and circle above them. Another bird dropped dead to the ground before the rest of the flock came speeding down snapping their beaks. They attacked Bucky and Steve, tearing through clothes with their talons and pecking at the soldiers skin. Steve grunted as he tried to fling one bird off his shoulder, but Bucky was yelling in pain. He did not have the protective suit that Steve had on, and the birds were easily clawing his skin into two. Steve tried pulling him away from them, kicking the birds with his feet.

They broke into a run down the edge of the ravine, the birds hot on their tail. But as they ran on, one by one, the birds continued to drop dead to the floor in a frenzy until none were left to chase them. They skidded to a halt as they approached the edge of the cliff that overlooked a large icy forest. Bucky was breathing hard, his cheek bleeding from where one of the birds had pecked him.  

"We have to find a way down," said Steve, peering carefully at the drop before them. If they slipped from this height, they would be but blood on the rocks below. Bucky stood up straight, rounding on Steve.   
"You aren't telling me something," he said angrily, but his eyes were scared. "Something weird is happening Steve, something- something powerful." His eyes flickered over the dead trail of birds behind them, and Steve follow his gaze.

"You're right," Steve said after a pause. The words the strange man had spoken before he had fallen back in time began to ring in his ears. _If your friend does not fall- if you change his story- he will never be safe. You will be running for the rest of your lives._ There would never be a moments rest for as long as Bucky survived.   
The future was changing, and Steve's own mind was fragmenting with memories that were ceasing to exist.


	9. Part IX

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay everyone, shit is about to go down
> 
> WARNING!!!  
> an act of sacrifice at the end may be construed as suicide so i thought i would put a warning just in case so as not to trigger anyone
> 
> hope you enjoy the chapter!

**Part IX**

**_\- - - - - - -_ **

"You deserve to know the truth." Steve said softly, looking out into the distance. The sky was turning a soft orange as the sun slowly descended behind the horizon.  "The day you fell from the train, you didn't die. Somehow, you survived the fall, and you were captured by Zola." He took a deep breath as he turned to face Bucky who was watching him with a blank expression.

"Your arm," he said, gesturing to the black and shriveled limb on his left shoulder, "you lost it. They gave you a new one; a weapon. They tortured you and brainwashed you for years." Steve blinked hard as tears began to well in his eyes, one tear managing to escape down his face. "When we meet again, in the future, you couldn't even recognize me. They destroyed you, Buck." He said, his voice was thick and laden with guilt. The tears were falling freely now, obscuring his vision. Bucky was looking down at his rotting hand, but Steve had no idea what he was feeling, or if he even believed him.  "I couldn't save you Bucky. You were my best friend, and I- I couldn't-" Steve choked on the words wishing that Bucky would just say something. Instead, he stared at Steve blankly.  

A roll of thunder echoed in the mountains beyond them, a light drop of water gracing Steve's cheek. He looked up to see a large black cloud quickly rolling in their direction. The sky was darkening drastically as a strong gust of wind began to sweep the naked trees they had emerged from. He wiped his face roughly from the tears that had stained his cheek, his eyes red and glistening as they met Bucky's gaze.  "I think history is trying to right itself," Steve said honestly. "The man who sent me here, he said that," he paused, gulping back the words he had to say, "he said that death would not be denied a second time. I think he's coming for you, Buck," and Bucky stared at him blankly. He blinked slowly as he processed the words he had just heard, the thunder rolling overhead drawing closer. Steve inhaled sharply as he realised that his selfishness; that his guilt for what happened to Bucky, had ensured his death. But perhaps, Steve thought for a moment, that was for the best, for years of torture was no life to be lived; no life to fight for. And what of all he had done for the future, of the events that Bucky as the Winter Soldier had been instrumental in executing; shaping all that Steve knew when he had woken up so far from this moment.  

"It's not your fault," Bucky said softly, drawing Steve away from his thoughts. He looked at Bucky in surprise at his words, "it's not your fault," he repeated, placing his good arm on Steve's shoulder and gripping it tight. Steve tried to smile at him, to argue with him, but the soft droplets of water from the sky grew heavier and more frequent, until they found themselves suddenly soaked to the bone. They could hardly see through the blaze of rain before their eyes; skewing their vision. Steve looked down the cliff and into the ravine; it's perilous rocks shining beneath the waning daylight. But they had been effectively backed into a corner without realising, with their time and options running out.  

The black clouds from overhead began to grow darker, sucking the remaining light of day out of the earth to replace it in shadow. Steve was breathing hard in anticipation, his stance firm as he turned to face the trees that began to whisper with the wind, growing louder, stronger. He reached instinctively for his shield on his back, nodding in Bucky's direction as they braced themselves for a fight. Bucky looked as though he would pass out any moment, but he held his fists before him; black hand curling into a light fist despite the pain that surged through his arm.  The rain was loud as it pounded against the rocky surface; the light snowfall turning to slush and mud.

"James Buchanan Barnes," a voice seemed to whisper in the air, it's voice silky as it echoed all around them. It repeated itself, over and over, until Bucky and Steve were sure they weren't imagining it. Bucky's eyes quivered, audibly gulping, his stance falling slightly.

"What do you want from us?!" Steve yelled out, glancing around himself wildly to find the source of the voice; but there seemed to be no-one. "What do you want!" he shouted, anger and fear rising in his chest. A sound akin to laughter echoed around them, before finally, in the distance of the trees before them, a figure of darkness began to form.  Bucky felt his fists fall slightly as the shadows of the trees turned into a menacing and tall figure; wispy and distorted as the shadows moved with the wind. It began to move toward them, tendrils of shadow stirring in the air with every step it took; the ground beneath its weightless feet turning black. Steve felt his breath hitch in his throat at the sight, the already chill air turning to ice, biting at their skin. A hollow feeling crept over the soldiers as the figure moved closer, bringing darkness and shadow; the sleeping  forest behind dying in its wake.  

The dark figure emerged from the trees, shadows snaking forward, reaching out to where Steve and Bucky stood trapped against the cliff edge. Steve felt all the warmth drain from his body, his fingers going numb in his gloves, and he glanced worriedly to Bucky who stood in but his blue jacket and trousers; the fingers of his right hand turning blue in the exposed air to follow the same fate as his left. Bucky yelped suddenly as a tendril of shadow gripped his ankle and swept him off his feet. It dragged him along the slush and snow as he struggled onto his stomach, his fingers clawing at the ground to find a grip. Steve yelled after him, springing into action and throwing himself at the ground to catch Bucky's reaching hands. They were at a tug of war with the shadows, and Bucky screamed in pain as his body was stretched between them. He kicked out behind him, trying to shake the shadow from his foot, but it was no use.

"You can't take him!" Steve cried into the darkness, the rain pouring into his mouth as he spoke. The rain had not let up, and Steve's vision was completely blurred by the onslaught against his eyes.   
"Hold on!" he ordered Bucky, pulling him harder now, and as Bucky let out a frightful scream, the shadow seemed to relent and release him. Steve fell backwards and hit the ground hard, with Bucky falling against him. They scrambled to their feet and stood back to back; the tendrils swirling all around them now. It taunted them, creeping forward as if to grab them again, before turning away last minute. Steve looked around helplessly. They had no weapons; and what weapons could one use against the shadows. He supposed he needed light, but there was none to be found in the dark forest; the downcast night sky menacing above them.  
"Barnes," the air seemed to whisper, the voice swimming around them.

"What do we do, Steve?" Bucky called over the howling rain, and Steve heaved in a deep breath. He tried to stand taller, tried to find some hope in their situation, but he was struggling. The nagging thought that he would lose Bucky _again_ was too much to ignore. It ate away at his insides; it made his legs weak, his thoughts unclear.   
"Steve!" Bucky shouted when Steve took too long to answer him. Steve shook his head and held firm the shield in his hand. They may only have their fists to fight, but he would be damned if they would be taken without a struggle.   
"We stand our ground!" Steve called back when he found his voice again. "We stand together!" He shouted, his voice resolute. He pressed his back firmly against Bucky's, the message clear to them both; they would stand together, and they would fall together.

The shadows began to leap for them then, trying to snake it's way around their bodies, to pull them apart and whisk them away. Steve swatted at them with his shield, turning in unison with Bucky to fight against this darkness.   
"Why are you trying to take him?!" Steve shouted angrily, breathless from the constant evasive maneuvering. A snake of shadow would reach toward them, and bounce hard against Steve's shield when he repelled it; but his arms were aching, and they still had no way to go on the offensive. A hollow laugh seemed to echo in the air again, and Steve turned hesitantly to face the figure that was still stood at the edge of the forest; watching them. Bucky glanced over his shoulder toward where Steve was looking, a shiver running up his spine that Steve felt run through his own body as the figure moved forward.

"James Buchanan Barnes," the voice spoke; and though its voice was but a harsh whisper, it echoed above the wind and rain; as though it were whispering into their very ears. "You have escaped your fate once before," it continued, moving forward and ever closer to the soldiers. "I will not be denied a second time." A blast of wind suddenly swept over them, trying to throw them off balance; the tendrils continuing their barrage to wrap themselves around the soldiers bodies. Steve continued to swat them distractedly, his focus entirely on the figure closing in on them. Bucky cried out behind him suddenly, keeling over and screaming in pain. He clutched at his left shoulder, Steve kneeling down beside him in an instant to check on him.   
"Bucky!" he cried out, and in his distractedness, a wisp of shadow curled around his torso and ripped them apart. Steve was thrown against the ground, the air expelled from his lungs with the impact. He rolled over onto his stomach, trying to stand as he watched the darkness sweep over Bucky, engulfing him until he completely disappeared in shadow; only his cries of pain faintly reaching Steve over the weather and distance. Steve raced toward him, but was thrown aside almost immediately as another wisp slammed into him. He bounced across the wet and slippery ground, his shield falling from his grasp and lying out of reach. Steve watched as the figure made its way toward the large ball of darkness that he knew to hold Bucky.  
"I will take you," the voice hissed, repeating the words like a mantra as it closed in on him. "I will take you, James Buchanan Barnes, _piece by piece."_

It had almost reached Bucky when it found Steve's shield slamming into its head. The shadows dispersed for a moment, so that the figure was but a cloud of darkness again, before gathering together once more into its form, and turned to Steve. Steve stumbled up from his place on the ground, standing rather unsteadily on his feet; swaying fists in front of him.  
"You want him," he said, cocking his head, "you have to go through me." 

Laughter sounded once more through the air, growing louder, louder, until Steve was swept off his feet again. Bucky still cried out, but Steve was beginning to see the shape of him once more. The darkness that had engulfed him was distracted; pulling away from Bucky to reach after Steve. But now Steve had not even his shield to offer as a distraction. Instead, he ran toward the figure, diving into it and tumbling head first as the figure dissipated again, re-gathering its form a moment later. He picked up his shield that was beside him now, having followed its projectile, and watched as Bucky emerged ever clearer. He struggled to a stand, looking at Steve with wide and painful eyes.  The figure moved upon Steve now, and Steve backed away with a smirk tugging on his lips despite himself. He stepped away and toward the cliffs edge, having nowhere else to go. He knew he was trapped, but Bucky was ahead of him now, and managing to struggle against the shadows himself so that they no longer drowned him. He knelt on one knee, trying to stand, but still clutching painfully at his shoulder and chest. His face was scrunched up as he struggled, his foot slipping on the wet muddy earth beneath him. Steve wished the rain would relent for one moment, to give them more of a fighting chance; it felt as though they were fighting blind. But he supposed they were fighting blindly, for what were they even fighting _against_? A shadow? The air? How does one fight that which cannot be touched; yet alone harmed. How does one fight against _Death_?

The figure launched itself at Steve, the form it was holding dissolving around him, the darkness seeming to crawl into every crevice of his skin; the shadow pouring down his throat and into his lungs. His breath turned to ice, his heart stilled; the darkness consumed him from the inside and he barely registered Bucky's voice screaming his name. His mind grew heavy, and he felt himself collapse to his knees, the darkness still swarming in and around him; ripping the life out of his body. He choked on the shadows, gasping for air, before feeling himself growing faint. But all at once it stopped. Steve fell forward, barely catching himself with his hands. He heaved a deep breath in and out, still icy cold; but his heart began to beat again; the black fog lifting from behind his eyes as he looked up to see Bucky. He was standing strong in the distance, still lightly clutching his shoulder, but he was composed. The figure of darkness had appeared once more, and was moving toward Bucky now.

"I said, leave him alone," Bucky said through gritted teeth, his voice full of strength and defiance. Steve realised he must have drawn its attention back to him, and wished more than anything that he had just left Steve; that he had ran and ran and never looked back. Instead, his eyes met Steve's stinging gaze, and tried to offer him a half smile.

"It will never end!" Bucky called out, and Steve struggled to make out his words. He tried to stand again, to move closer to Bucky, but it was so slippery; the wind and rain beating him down as though it were trying to force him into the soil.  
"You were wrong Steve!," Bucky shouted, "I don't blame you! But you cannot change the future!" Bucky looked out over the cliff to his right, and Steve followed where he looked, realisation dawning on him. "It will be alright Steve!" he shouted, and Steve could hear the fear in his voice despite his brave face. "It's going to be alright," he whispered to himself.

"Bucky! Don't do it!" Steve cried out, a new strength coursing through his veins as he made to stand. "Bucky!" he cried again as he watched his friend begin to sprint toward the cliff edge. The figure was upon him in an instant, reforming itself into a grand sweeping and formless shadow that followed Bucky to the edge. Tendrils continued to snake out toward him, to capture him, but Bucky was too fast; the distance too short to be stopped.

"Bucky!" Steve screamed, and watched as Bucky ran straight over the edge of the cliff. Time seemed to slow down as Bucky stepped out over the edge. He hovered for a moment, arms flailing; a black hand snaking forward out of the shadow that followed in one last effort to grab him. Steve watched helplessly as the hand closed over nothing, Bucky falling beneath its clutches, and disappearing down, down, over the edge; and into what Steve knew to be the sharp and jagged rocks below. Steve felt his heart drop, his body instantly turning numb to the pain it had endured. Rain and darkness still swept around him, noisy and overwhelming, but Steve heard none of it. He was deaf to the sounds around him but for the swimming of his blood through his veins. He stared dumbly at the edge for a moment, before reaching for his shield and standing.

The figure of darkness was gone, turned to but shadows that danced all across the air. Steve ran forward, grief and rage filling him with a new energy. He swung wildly at the shadows around him with his shield, beating the air mercilessly, tears spilling over his eyes.

"Foolish boy," a voice whispered in the air, before suddenly the world went black. Steve felt himself falling, falling, his back impacting something hard before he continued to sink. Down, and down he felt himself fall, ice cold engulfing his body; making him numb. His lungs felt heavy, and he could not draw a breath. This was it, he thought. He would drown in his own tears. He spluttered and coughed as air forced its way back into his lungs; but the pain was too much. The dark and heavy weight behind his eyes buried him, and he fell into a world of darkness.  

\- - - - - - -


	10. Part X

**Part X: Epilogue**

**_\- - - - - - -_**

When Steve woke, it was on the hard ground with his eyes to the stars. As he came to, he realised the hard ground was a hard mattress; and the stars were but the blinding white lights above him. He blinked, his body heavy and sore.  

"On your left." He heard a voice say at his side. He turned his head slowly, his bleary eyes struggling to focus on the familiar face that sat beside him. _Sam._ Steve thought. Sam smiled at him, flicking mindlessly through the newspaper in his hands. Music played softly in the background, and Steve turned back to face the ceiling; to face the future he still found himself in one again. He swallowed around the lump in his throat at the realisation. Had it all been a dream? Or was this his new memory? He remembered Bucky falling off of the train, but he also remembered him running off the edge of that cliff; of the fear in his eyes and resolve in his thin smile. Steve blinked hard against the images racing through his mind. Sam watched him from the corner of his eye.

"It was all for nothing," Steve whispered, his voice hoarse and dry. He coughed, declining Sam as he offered him a sip of water.   
"What'd you say?" Sam asked, placing the cup back on the side table. Steve simply swallowed hard again, blinking back the tears that threatened to fall.  

"What happened?" Steve asked in response, and Sam whistled as he thought about the events that had taken place.   
"You tell us, man," he said, "found you at the riverside, beaten to a pulp and unconscious, but alive."   
"Bucky?" Steve asked, his voice soft and hesitant as his mouth formed the name. Sam looked away awkwardly.   
"I don't know, I guess he got away." Sam said, picking up his newspaper again. "You should sleep, even superheroes need to catch their beauty rest." Steve nodded, not really listening.

His mind instead searched for the memory of what happened before he had woken with Bucky at his side; alive and smiling and with those blue eyes that held all the truths he could never quite hide from Steve. Slowly, the memories floated back to him; of his last battle with the winter soldier. He had sat above Steve, beating him furiously with his cold and metal hand, screaming at him. But there had been a moment; a heartbeat. _I'm with you, till the end of the line,_ Steve had said, and for just one moment, Steve had seen it. The familiar fear and truth; he had seen Bucky, _his_ Bucky. Because Steve had failed in the end. He had tried to save his friend from a life of torture and pain, but the future had remained the same. Bucky had tried to choose death for himself; to right the course that history would take; but he could not escape. He was still _The Winter Soldier_ , a weapon; and a lost friend.  

"I'm going to find him," Steve croaked, drawing Sam's attention back to him. "I'm going to bring him home." He said, his voice resolute. He closed his eyes, heaving a deep breath.

 _I'll bring you home, Bucky,_ he thought to himself, _This time, I won't fail you._

**The End.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh my gosh. it's over. it's FINISHED!  
> only took me literally 3 years haha but i hope anyone who read enjoyed it! and i'm sorry if anyone who started this story in 2014 is still reading because no-one should have to wait so long between updates. i just lost my motivation to write! 
> 
> anyway i hope people aren't too disappointed with the ending because it was going to end this way from the beginning- i'm kind of a sucker for angst. 
> 
> thank you for reading you wonderful people!! kudos and comments are really appreciated and feeds my writers ego so please if you enjoyed my story let me know!! or if you hated it.. let me know! (i really hope you didn't hate it)
> 
> THANK YOU <3 <3


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